My Samsung washing machine sings to me… and will one day kill me
Korea is a great place. Well, South Korea is pretty good. I’m not too sure about the North.
It is a place where gaming is the norm. You can pretty much talk to anyone about how imba a 6-pool cheese is in StarCraft. That is, if they understand your English and just happen to be under the age of 30. I’ve also heard that Seoul is equivalent to an 80′s Tokyo: booming tech industry, huge economic growth and moving up the world on Facebook ‘likes’. Now imagine this bustling economy built of passionate hard working people focusing on world domination.
Enter Homefront.
Kim Jong Il has moved onto repressing the heavens… or hells… whatevs. His son, Kim Jong Un, finally unites the peninsula (yeah… that’s actually the story). This results in the Greater Korean Republic. But this unity is not based on the ultra consumerist capitalist south. No – the result is an inflated, psychopathic version of the North who have finally started conquering the USA. Those awesome Samsung monitors you are reading this on are actually quietly monitoring your activities, reporting back to the united Korea.
They know your every move. They know your dreams. They know more than you can imagine. There will be no GG. There will definitely be no RM. Because Korea has become OP with the latest patch – Korea version 2.0.
They are so OP that the gameplay is short, prescribed and purely boring. Seriously, just GG and play a better game.
There is the typical kill-all-Koreans-for-revenge-of-my-murdered-little-sister character.
The I’m-a-typically-good-looking-and-emotionally-sensitive-and-yet-in-control female character.
The African-American-I’ll-do-what-is-right-in-my-own-time-because-I’m-a-true-patriot commander.
And of course you: the silent-but-strong-and-dependable main character. BORING. I don’t know shit about this ass-hole protagonist – there is no back story apart from a vague comment about being a former marine pilot (so yeah – he’s a lazy douche for not joining the resistance already). You just become hunted by the enemy. And within the whole game there is this damned I’m-American-and-thus-savior-and-purveyor-of-freedom overtone that doesn’t even bother being subtle. FFS.
I wish that it was the other way around – I wish that the game had a storyline narrated by the invading forces. One that showed the hardship of a Korean soldier having to battle with his own demons and the ethics of his army’s undertaking; one that shows every soldier has a choice to murder civilians or to ignore and disobey orders. But alas, I was victim to yet another game of America is all-righteous BS. And to make it worse I can’t even kill the other characters on my team. Oh well. What could have been awesome was lame. Time to play some Duke Nukem Forever.
Number of friendly kills I would have tried to avoid: 3 out of 10.
